i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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