We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
