Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
