can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
