You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
