I must be too annoying 4 u.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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