This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
did you just send me my own nude
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
