Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
