saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
