He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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