think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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