you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
