She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
