At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
