I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
