Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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