Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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