I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry about my life...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
