dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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