She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
