Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
