piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i came on her dog
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
