I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
