I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
