found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
