I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
