He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
