what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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