it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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