I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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