Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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