ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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