Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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