lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
