i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize