Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
