he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
