Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
