If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
