Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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