Your face is a jimmy john
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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