And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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