I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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