don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
