So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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