i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You made out with two different species that night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize