Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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