we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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