i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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