non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
