I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
