:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
