some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
