my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
