Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
