Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
