My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
