I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
