too bad you live with your parents still
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
