She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
