the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
