Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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