I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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