So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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