Me too!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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