I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize